It took me a solid 9 months of hearing that phrase before it finally sunk in. What is behavior? What is communication? If I were to give these words the simplest definitions based on my experience, they would be: Behavior: the actions used to communicate wants/needs/likes/dislikes; Communication: Words (i.e., verbal, sign langauge, picture comm., augmentative communication, etc.) and/or behaviors that are expressed and received with the intention of having mutual meaning - basically the speaker and listener understand the form and attempt to understand the message(s).
I was in a school-setting, second year of graduate school, and working with one of the most knowledgable supervising SLP I have had the pleasure of meeting. The Elementary campus was a dual-language campus, Spanish-speaking students cross into English-emersion classes and vice versa, for a particular number of days and hours in those days. My supervisor would listen to teacher and parent concerns and later explain, BEHAVIOR is communication. I would nod and take it in, then look for the 'problem'. I was the 'problem'! I was looking for a message with words or graphics that could easily be deciphered. The child 'throwing a fit' or hitting other students was communicating, I just was not listening.
Look at the behavior, the body language, AND the words used. Communication is mostly listening, so listen.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Up first…
Auditory Recordings!
As parents, we assume kids naturally “hear” and fix their own speech by age 3-4. But auditory feedback skills often need extra support up to 8, especially for little ones refining sounds. Using a simple recording device lets them listen back, spot errors, and self-correct independently—building confidence without constant cues.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Proprioception - Mirrors for Visual Cues
As parents, we know kids need active play to burn energy, mirrors for checking outfits or making faces, and practice with dressing or brushing teeth for independence. But as an SLP, I learned these are key for sensory processing, motor planning in speech, and building language through everyday routines—especially for kids with delays.
Target proprioception with “heavy work” like wall pushes or carrying books to boost body awareness and focus. Use mirrors to provide visual feedback on mouth shapes for clearer sounds. Tie in self-help by sequencing steps in hygiene tasks, like “squeeze paste, brush in circles.”
Combine them: Have kids push firmly while brushing in front of a mirror, describing actions!
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Narrating Your Day - Boosting Receptive Language
As parents, we know daily routines like walking outside, opening doors, or shopping for groceries are just part of the hustle. But as an SLP, I learned narrating these moments in simple words builds receptive language—helping kids understand vocabulary, categories, and the world around them, especially those with delays.
Narrate actions clearly: “I’m opening the brown door, walking down the gray sidewalk to the red car.” At the grocery store, point out colors and groups: “Let’s find all the red fruits—like apples and strawberries—to work on categories.”
Combine them: During a walk or errand, describe steps while involving your child, like “We’re picking the yellow banana from the bunch!”
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Emotional Intelligence - Regulating Emotions in Kids
As parents, we know kids’ emotions can swing wildly—from joyful giggles to full-blown meltdowns—and we do our best to navigate them. But as an SLP, I learned that fostering emotional intelligence (EI) through recognizing physical signs, labeling feelings, and identifying antecedents (triggers) is essential for self-regulation and coping, especially for children with delays. Dr. Daniel Goleman notes a steady decline in children’s emotional competencies over decades, making EI building more vital than ever.
Teach physical manifestations: Clenched jaw/fists for anger, butterflies in the stomach for anxiety, red/hot cheeks for embarrassment, or a big smile for happiness.
Label emotions: Use “I feel angry” or “I feel happy” to name them clearly.
Add antecedents: “I feel angry because…” to pinpoint what sparked it.
This progression helps kids anticipate emotions and regulate them proactively.
Combine them: Spot a physical cue like tense shoulders, then guide: “I see your shoulders are up—you feel frustrated because the puzzle is hard? Let’s take deep breaths.”
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Cause and Effect - Teaching Choices and Consequences
As parents, we know kids make impulsive decisions without seeing the ripple effects—like sharing toys (or not)—and we guide them as best we can. But as an SLP, I learned fostering cause and effect through play and discussion builds decision-making, pragmatics, and self-awareness, especially for kids with delays.
Teach through gameplay: Use games like Chutes and Ladders, where landing on squares leads to sliding down (negative) or climbing up (positive) consequences.
Practice pragmatics: Encourage responses like “Good game!” for losses or “Great job!” for wins to foster empathy and communication.
For older kids, add verbal analysis: Discuss scenarios like “What if you don’t study for a test?” to explore outcomes.
This helps kids connect actions to results for better choices.
Combine them: In a game, if they slide down, guide: “Upset because of that square? Let’s discuss how it happened and say ‘Nice move!’ to your friend ahead.”
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Modeling and Recasting Speech for Clarity and Correction
As parents, we often recognize what our child is trying to say and simply respond, keeping the conversation flowing. But as an SLP, I learned that fostering clear and correct speech involves more intentional strategies, like modeling and recasting through repetition. This approach is essential for building language skills, especially in children with speech delays, by providing gentle corrections in natural interactions without interrupting the joy of communication.
Recasting, a well-established technique in speech-language pathology, involves repeating back the child’s utterance in a corrected form while maintaining its original meaning. According to ASHA research, it effectively supports grammatical and articulation development by offering immediate, positive models.  The key is to echo what you heard, model the accurate version, and encourage repetition—not every time, but as a natural practice.
Teach through modeling: When your child produces a sound or word, immediately provide the correct model to reinforce it.
Incorporate recasting: Rephrase their attempt correctly in your response, expanding slightly if needed.
Encourage repetition: Gently prompt them to try again after your model.
Combine them: For example, if your child says “Wa wa” (meaning water), respond with: “Oh, you want water? Say ‘water’!”
After their attempt, affirm and recast: “Yes, water—great job!” This builds accuracy, confidence, and turns everyday moments into learning opportunities.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Teaching Difficult Speech Sounds - Step-by-Step Progression
As parents, we might spot our kids struggling with tricky sounds and figure they’ll sort it out with time or casual repeats. But as an SLP, I learned a simple progression helps build clear speech, especially for kids with articulation challenges. ASHA recommends starting small and layering up for lasting results.
Try this easy buildup:
• Isolation: Practice the sound alone, like a quick hiss for /s/.
• Syllable: Add a vowel, such as “sa” or “si.”
• Word: Move to simple words like “sun” or “bus” (skip blends for now).
• Sentence: Form short phrases, e.g., “See the sun.”
• Conversation: Use it in everyday chat.
For cues (using /s/ as an example): Keep the tongue behind the front teeth and blow smooth air down the middle for a clear sound. A mirror helps them check their mouth!
Combine them: During play, start with /s/ in isolation, add a cue like “Tongue behind teeth!”, then build to a sentence: “Say ‘See the sun shine!’”
Next up… Self-Regulation Strategies to Calm Emotions for Better Communication
As parents, we might tell our children to “take a deep breath” or “count to 10” when they’re upset, assuming it’ll help them talk it out. But as an SLP, I learned structured strategies using body movements and coordination can down-regulate the physical signs of big emotions—like fidgeting or tension—making it easier for young elementary children to find words and communicate clearly. ASHA emphasizes teaching self-regulation skills through modeling and environmental supports to boost emotional awareness and speech readiness.
Try this easy buildup:
• Identify Emotions: Help children name what they’re feeling by describing physical manifestations (e.g., “My heart is beating fast” for anger or anxiety), then use Daniel Goleman’s emotional intelligence approach with phrases like “I feel… because…” to connect the sensation to the cause.
• Body Movements: Incorporate “heavy work” like wall pushes, jumping jacks, or bear hugs for calming proprioceptive input.
• Coordination Activities: Add rhythmic actions, such as clapping patterns or marching in place, to refocus energy.
• Transition to Communication: Once calm, practice simple phrases like “I feel mad because…”
For cues (using anger as an example): Squeeze fists tight then release while breathing deeply—say “Push the wall hard to let the mad out, then tell me what happened.”
Combine them: During a meltdown, start with movement (wall pushes), add coordination (clapping “calm down” rhythm), then guide to words: “Now that we’re steady, what do you want to say?”
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Situational Awareness and Visual Scanning for Better Observation Skills
As parents, we might notice our children running into things or ignoring obstacles in their rush to get what they want, and wonder, "how can we help?". As an SLP, I learned that visual scanning—a technique used with geriatric patients to orient them to their surroundings—can be adapted for children to build situational awareness, helping them perceive depth, identify objects, and navigate safely, which supports communication and independence. Evidence-based practices in occupational and speech therapy support visual scanning activities to improve attention and awareness.
Try this easy buildup:
• Start with the basics: Use books or colorful scenes to scan and identify with younger children, labeling items (e.g., "Look at the red bird, now the green tree").
• Scan walls systematically: Have the child scan from floor to ceiling on one wall, naming everything they see, including furniture.
• Go around the room: Move to each wall or area, familiarizing with the space to build a mental map.
• Make it a game for older children: Challenge them to navigate the room blindfolded, grab a specific object, and return it based on their memorized layout and given two verbal hints.
For cues (using a wall scan as an example): "Start at the floor—what's there? Move your eyes up slowly—now the chair, the picture, up to the ceiling light. Good job spotting everything!"
Combine them: During playtime or before moving around, pause to scan the room, labeling items and discussing paths (e.g., "See the toy on the floor? Step around it to get to the door.") This enhances observation, reduces accidents, and supports communication skills. For younger children, hearing the labels from books or scenes builds vocabulary and language comprehension. For older children, describing items practices syntax (e.g., forming complete sentences like "The red Lego is under the blue couch") and semantic skills (e.g., categorizing objects as "toys" or understanding spatial terms like "behind" or "next to").
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Supporting Children Learning Two Languages and the Silent Period
As parents, we might worry when our children learning two languages stay quiet or seem hesitant to speak, wondering if something’s off. But as an SLP, I learned the silent period is a natural stage where children receptively absorb both languages and their systems before trying expressive language. This involves mastering multiple vocabulary words and sentence structures (syntax rules) for each language, which can lead to hesitation as they choose the right word or order it correctly. Research from bilingual language development, including ASHA guidelines, shows this phase can last weeks to months and is a healthy part of learning.
Try these strategies:
• Model Responses: Offer examples in one or both languages during daily moments (e.g., "Eat now" in English or "Come mangiare" in Italian) to show how words fit.
• Identify Languages: Clearly state which language we’re using and remind the child we’re working with two or more (e.g., "We’re speaking Spanish now, then English later").
• Engage in Play: Narrate activities and play in both languages, labeling actions and objects while noting the language (e.g., "I’m drawing a car in English—‘draw car’—now in Spanish, ‘dibujar coche’").
For cues: Point out the current language (e.g., "We’re in English now") and provide models for them to repeat when they’re ready, like "Say ‘red ball’ after me."
Combine them: During play or routines, model language, label the language in use, and narrate what’s happening, giving them space to listen and absorb before gently encouraging a repeat. This builds their bilingual confidence step by step.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Phonetics and Early Literacy Skills: How Sound Errors Impact Reading
As parents, we might hear our children mix up sounds and think it’s cute or they’ll outgrow it, but as an SLP, I learned consistent speech sound errors can affect early literacy skills like reading and spelling. When a child substitutes sounds (e.g., saying “T” for “K,” turning “call” into “tall”), it changes the word’s meaning and can confuse phonics—the foundation of literacy—making it harder to map sounds to letters. Evidence-based practices show speech sound disorders are linked to poorer literacy outcomes, emphasizing the need for early intervention.
Try these strategies:
• Model Correct Sounds: Demonstrate clear phonetics in everyday talk, repeating words with emphasis on tricky sounds (e.g., “Listen to ‘call’—feel the back sound”).
• Use Multi-Sensory Tools: Incorporate resources like Lively Letters by TLC, which teaches phonics through stories, songs, and hand movements to engage multiple senses and improve sound-letter connections.
• Practice in Context: Read books or play games focusing on target sounds, pointing out how errors change meanings (e.g., “If we say ‘tall’ instead of ‘call,’ it means something different!”).
For cues (using T for K as an example): “Put your tongue back for ‘k’ like in ‘call’—make your quiet choking/back sound. Now try: ‘Call the dog’!”
Combine them: During reading or play, model sounds with Lively Letters activities, label how errors alter words, and practice corrections—building both phonetics and literacy step by step.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… Starting With Parallel Play for Children with Delayed Communication
As parents, we might see our children preferring solo play or showing little interest in talking, wondering how to draw them out. But as an SLP, I learned parallel play—where adults join in beside the child without direct interaction—is a gentle way to build engagement and communication foundations for children with delayed communication. ASHA highlights parallel play as a key developmental stage that supports social-communication skills, especially in contexts like autism or delays, by fostering imitation and shared focus through modeling.
Try these holistic home strategies:
• Set Up On-the-Ground Play: Create a cozy spot in the living room on the rug with toys like blocks or puzzles—sit beside your child and engage in similar play without forcing interaction.
• Mimic Their Actions: My favorite suggestion—quietly copy what they do (e.g., if they stack blocks, stack your own nearby) to show connection and encourage auditory/verbal awareness through nonverbal cues.
• Narrate Gently: Describe your own play softly (parallel talk), like “I’m building a tower,” to model language without pressure, helping them absorb words.
For cues (using mimicking as an example): If your child rolls a car, roll yours too and say, “Vroom, the car goes fast!”—keep it light to invite imitation naturally.
Combine them: During floor time in the living room, mimic their play while narrating softly, building trust and gradually leading to joint attention. This holistic approach at home enhances engagement, self-regulation, and eventual verbal communication.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next Up… ASHA Norms: When Kids Master Speech Sounds and When to Seek Help
As parents, you might wonder when your child should say sounds clearly. Based on ASHA norms, here’s what’s typical: “p,” “b,” “m,” and “w” are usually mastered by age 3; “f,” “v,” “k,” “g,” and “t” by age 4; “s,” “z,” “sh,” “ch,” and “j” by age 5-6; and “r,” “l,” and “th” often by 6-7. If sounds are consistently off past these ages (e.g., “tall” for “call” at 5), it might signal a delay. Evidence from ASHA shows early intervention can boost communication success.
What to Do If a Sound Is in Error:
• Model the Sound: Repeat the word correctly during play (e.g., say “call” clearly if they say “tall”) to show the right way.
• Use a Mirror: Let them watch their mouth in a mirror while you make the sound together—e.g., show how the tongue moves back for “k.”
• Try Audio Recordings: Record yourself saying the sound and then record your child’s attempt, playing both back so they can hear the difference and compare.
For cues (using “k” for “t” errors as an example): Teach them to lift their tongue to the back for the “quiet choking sound” of “k” in “call.” Point out, “If we say ‘tall’ instead of ‘call,’ we change the word meaning and message—‘tall’ is height, but ‘call’ is to shout!”
Seek an SLP if errors persist beyond the age norms, especially if it affects understanding or confidence. Start with these home tips, and reach out for support if needed!
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next Up… When Stuttering-Like Patterns Might Reflect a Growing Vocabulary
As parents, you might notice your child seeming to stutter, repeating sounds or pausing mid-sentence, and wonder if it’s a concern. As an SLP, I’ve learned this can sometimes stem from a rapidly expanding receptive lexicon—where they understand many words but struggle to choose and organize them into speech. ASHA notes that such disfluencies can occur as children’s language skills surge, especially between ages 2-5, and may not always indicate a true stutter but rather a developmental phase of processing complex thoughts.
Try these techniques at home:
• Encourage Pausing: Gently cue your child to stop, take a deep breath, and think about their message before speaking.
• Support Steady Speech: When they’re ready, prompt them to try again slowly, reinforcing a calm pace.
• Model Patience: Respond with a relaxed tone, giving them time to express without pressure.
For cues: If they hesitate, say, “Let’s pause, breathe, think about what you want to say, then go when you’re ready!” This helps them regain control and communicate clearly.
Combine these during conversations or play—pausing together builds confidence and eases the word-finding challenge. If disfluencies persist or cause frustration beyond age 5, consider consulting an SLP.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next Up… Screen Time’s Influence on Speech and Observation Skills
As parents, we might use screens for quick entertainment, but as an SLP, I learned the rapid eye movement required for electronics can train fast-paced processing, making real-life’s slower communication feel disjointed and impacting observation skills. This can lead to delayed speech, reduced pragmatic abilities (like turn-taking in conversations), and challenges in understanding social cues. ASHA and research highlight how excessive screen time correlates with weaker language development and expressive delays, especially in young children.
Try these home strategies:
• Limit Screen Time: Follow ASHA guidelines for under 2s (none except video calls) and 2-5s (1 hour max of high-quality content) to encourage real-world interactions.
• Practice Slower Rates: Narrate daily activities at a calm pace (e.g., “Look, the ball is rolling slowly across the floor”).
• Build Observation: Play “I Spy” games focusing on details in the environment to sharpen visual and pragmatic skills.
For cues: “Let’s take a deep breath and observe slowly—what do you see? Tell me one word at a time.”
Combine them: During play, replace screens with hands-on activities, narrating slowly while modeling observation (e.g., “See how the toy moves? It’s going behind the couch”). This fosters pragmatic turn-taking and steady communication.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next Up… Spotting Hearing Difficulties: How They Affect Speech
As parents, we might miss subtle signs of hearing issues, but as an SLP, I’ve learned early detection is key. Hearing difficulties can delay speech development, leading to unclear sounds, limited vocabulary, or trouble following directions. ASHA emphasizes that untreated hearing loss in children can hinder articulation and language growth, with evidence showing delays in expressive and receptive skills by as much as 6-12 months if not addressed.
Look for these signs:
• Not responding to sounds or their name by 12 months.
• Turning head to one side to hear better.
• Speech with frequent mispronunciations or omissions.
Try these home strategies:
• Test Hearing: Clap hands behind them or whisper their name to check reactions.
• Model Sounds: Exaggerate clear speech (e.g., “ssss-nake”) during play.
• Encourage Response: Use simple commands like “look at me” with gestures.
For cues: “Let’s listen—can you hear this clap? Say ‘yes’ when you do!”
Combine them: Play a clapping game, modeling sounds and waiting for their response to build listening skills. If signs persist, consult an audiologist or SLP.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next Up… Speech as a Sequenced Motor Movement
As parents, we might not realize speech is a sequenced motor movement—a rapid series of steps like saying ‘cat’ (tongue up back to stop airflow, open for the vowel, then up front for the ending sound) that happens without much thought, much like walking while chatting. Once a pattern forms, changing it (like fixing an error) takes practice—imagine relearning to walk a new way!
Difficulties with these sequences can signal childhood apraxia of speech (CAS), a motor speech disorder where the brain struggles to plan movements for speech. Kids with CAS often produce words differently each time, with inconsistent sounds and trouble with vowel variations. Some childreb may also demonstrate limb apraxia, appearing clumsy due to challenges coordinating other motor movements.
Try these home strategies:
• Break It Down: Practice one sound at a time (e.g., /k/ then /a/ then /t/).
• Slow It Up: Say words slowly to build new patterns.
• Repeat Playfully: Use games to reinforce correct sequences.
• Use Audio: Record your child repeating the word 5-10 times and discuss if it changes in any repetition for self-help.
For cues: “Let’s try ‘cat’—/k/, /a/, /t/—feel your tongue move!”
Combine them: During play, model slow speech, break down sounds, use audio to compare repetitions, and cheer successes to ease into new patterns. Seek an SLP if inconsistencies persist.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next Up… Understanding Syntax in Speech
As parents, we might not think much about how sentences are built, but as an SLP, I’ve learned syntax—the rules governing word order and sentence structure—is key to clear communication. For bilingual kids, language transfer is normal, like in Spanish where adjectives often follow nouns (e.g., “Veo una mesa roja”, instead of the English order, “I see a red table”). Modeling language is a best practice for all children, monolingual or bilingual.
Try these home strategies:
• Model Correct Order: Use simple sentences like “The cat sits” during play for all kids.
• Repeat and Expand: Restate their sentence with proper syntax (e.g., “Yes, the ball rolls—see, the ball rolls fast!”).
• Practice Together: Play sentence-building games with picture cards.
For cues: “Let’s say ‘The red table’—put the words in order!”
Combine them: During storytime, model correct syntax, expand their sentences, and use games to reinforce for both monolingual and bilingual learners. Seek an SLP if syntax struggles continue.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series:
Next up… The Magic of Repetitive Books and Songs
As parents, we might read "Brown Bear" for the 47th time this week and think, "Can we please try something new!" But as an SLP, I learned repetitive, predictable books are language-building powerhouses—helping children anticipate patterns, join in confidently, and practice communication skills, especially for kids with delays. ASHA research shows interactive shared reading supports early language development by reducing cognitive load, letting kids focus on vocabulary and sentence patterns instead of guessing what comes next.
Try this easy buildup:
• Pause for Fill-Ins: Stop before familiar words—"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you ___?" Wait for "see!"
• Add Actions: Clap, point, or make animal sounds to engage multiple senses and boost memory.
• Switch Up Vocabulary: Once they know the pattern, try "purple elephant" instead of "brown bear" to expand words while keeping the familiar structure.
For cues: Point to the picture and pause expectantly—"Old MacDonald had a ___"—wait, then celebrate when they say "farm!"
Combine them: During story time, choose predictable books like "Brown Bear" or "Wheels on the Bus," pause for participation, add gestures, and occasionally swap new words into familiar patterns. Yes, reading the same book 47 times actually helps their brain wire for communication success!
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series: Gut Health Empowers Effective Communication Skills
As parents, we cherish those moments when our kids dive into conversation, from first sounds to mastering social chats with big words, but some talks hit a wall! As an SLP, I learned kids connect best when their tummies are settled, often after a bathroom break.
The gut-brain axis links diet and gut bacteria to focus, mood, and memory (Frontiers in Microbiology, 2020). Poor gut health, like constipation, can spark irritability, frustration, or trouble calming down, disrupting sound practice for little ones or social skills and complex vocab for older kids, especially those with autism or delays who can’t signal discomfort. Research shows imbalanced diets hinder self-regulation, slowing communication in ADHD or autism (Journal of Neurodevelopmental Disorders, 2022). By noticing when your child’s most comfortable—often post-bathroom break—you can plan tough talks, like practicing sounds or navigating social rules, for those calm, focused moments.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series: Cooking Empowers Talking Every Day
As parents, we might think cooking’s just about meals, but as an SLP, I’ve learned it’s a powerhouse for engaging in conversation and learning!
Cooking builds expressive, receptive, and social skills for every child, helping those with communication delays shine. Research shows structured tasks like cooking boost vocabulary and social skills by easing mental effort (Journal of Child Language, 2020). Maria Montessori taught us to control the environment, not the child, using tools like small spoons or picture recipe cards tailored to their level, fostering independence without pushing.
Try these home strategies:
• Parallel Talk: Narrate what you or your child do, like “I’m slicing the bread—it’s crusty” or “You’re spreading jam smoothly,” to model expressive language without expecting a reply, building vocabulary for all ages.
• Expansion: If they say “Butter!” say “You’re spreading creamy butter” to grow their words.
• Modeling: Show “Can you pass the plate?” to practice social requests.
For cues: “Let’s spread the jam together—show me how!” to invite their participation.
Combine them: During meal prep, narrate sandwich-making, expand their words, and model requests, using visual cards to guide steps, fading prompts for independence.
What I Wish I Knew as a Parent but Learned as an SLP
Growing up in a vibrant, expressive Cuban culture, I learned early that a raised eyebrow or pursed lips could speak louder than words. As an SLP, I now understand that body language is a cornerstone of pragmatics—the social rules of communication, as defined by ASHA. It’s how kids read cues like a friend’s slumped shoulders signaling sadness or a teacher’s nod meaning “your turn.” For children with speech delays, mastering these cues can transform their ability to connect socially.
Here’s how to teach kids to observe body language, tailored to their age:
- For Young Kids: Keep it simple. Point out smiles or frowns during playtime. Try:
Picture Books: Read books like The Feelings Book and pause to mimic characters’ facial expressions.
Mirror Games: Copy each other’s gestures, like waving or clapping, to identify happy or silly cues.
- For Older Kids: Use role-playing to make it engaging. Act out scenarios like meeting someone new or practicing a job interview to focus on gestures such as eye contact or handshakes. Role-playing stressful situations helps kids manage nerves and read others’ cues, like a clenched fist showing anxiety. Try switching roles to play the other side—it builds empathy by helping kids understand how others’ body language reflects their feelings.
Teaching kids to notice body language equips them with a powerful social skill, especially in expressive communities where gestures carry deep meaning.
What I Wish I Knew as a Parent but Learned as an SLP: Cultural Differences in Communication
As a speech-language pathologist who grew up in a Cuban-culture household within an American-culture environment, I’ve experienced firsthand how cultural backgrounds shape communication. These differences influence how children express themselves and connect with others.
Here’s how you can support your child in navigating cultural differences in communication at home.
Why It Matters: Cultural norms impact eye contact, gestures, tone, and even silence. For instance, some cultures view direct eye contact as respectful, while others see it as bold or intrusive. Understanding these differences helps your child build stronger connections in diverse settings, from school to social gatherings.
Practical Tips for Parents
For Young Children: Use storybooks with diverse characters to spark conversations about how people greet, share, or show emotions differently. Try mimicking gestures like waving or bowing during play to make it fun and relatable.
For Older Children: Role-play scenarios like meeting someone from another culture. Practice greetings, such as a handshake versus a nod, and discuss how tone or personal space varies. Encourage your child to ask questions like, “What does that gesture mean to you?” to foster curiosity and empathy.
At Home: Share stories from your own cultural background about how your family communicates—maybe a special phrase or gesture. For example, in my Cuban household, animated hand gestures were a lively part of storytelling! Invite your child to observe how friends or classmates express themselves differently and discuss what they notice.
What I Wish I Knew as a Parent but Learned as an SLP
As an SLP and parent, I believe kids grow most when they resolve conflicts independently. Pragmatics—the social rules of communication, as ASHA defines—includes navigating disagreements, from toy disputes to peer conflicts. For children with speech delays, practicing clear steps on their own, with parents available to guide only when asked, fosters confidence and social independence.
Here’s how to support kids in resolving conflicts:
For Younger Kids: Encourage them to try simple strategies first. When they ask for help, suggest:
Naming Feelings: Teach “I feel…” statements, like “I feel mad,” progressing to “I feel mad because…” as they grow, inspired by Dr. Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence. Use books or pictures of emotions for kids to point to and identify feelings.
Taking Turns: Offer a phrase like “Can I have a turn?” for sharing toys, letting them lead.
For Older Kids: Be ready to guide when they seek support. Help them plan steps like:
Calming Breath: Teach Dr. Andrew Weil’s 4-7-8 technique—inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, exhale slowly through pursed lips for 8 seconds—to calm the nervous system.
Share and Listen: Teach phrases like “I feel upset because…” and encourage hearing the other side.
Role-Play Practice: If asked, act out scenarios like handling an argument with a peer or addressing a situation where they feel someone wronged another person. Practice phrases like “Let’s find a solution” or switch roles to understand the other person’s feelings.
By staying available to guide only when kids ask, we empower them to handle conflicts with confidence.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an
SLP) Series
Next up… When to Walk Away: Navigating Unresolv-
able Conflicts
As parents, we often hope every interaction can lead to harmony, wanting our kids to connect with everyone. As an SLP, I’ve learned that sometimes connections just take time to find the right fit or not work—and that’s a gentle part of growing up. One helpful approach is reflecting together on what makes a friendship feel good, like shared interests or kind actions, and noticing when it might not click—perhaps due to different ways of handling situations or misunderstandings.
We can guide kids to choose how they feel and respond, empowering them to say, “I need space,” “Let’s take a break,” or for younger kids, “I need a hug."
Try these steps to support your child:
-Talk it Out: Sit with your child and ask what feels comfortable or tricky in their interactions. Use simple questions like, “What made you smile today?” or “Was there a moment that felt hard?”
-Name the Feeling: Help them use “I feel… because…” statements, like “I feel happy because we played together” or “I feel upset because someone took my toy,” to express emotions clearly.
-Practice a Phrase: Role-play saying “I need a break” or “I need a big hug and a rest” in a kind voice, practicing with you or a toy.
-Draw Feelings: Encourage them to draw their emotions—happy faces, sad lines, or anything they feel—to help process and organize their thoughts.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series
Next up… Balancing Support: Reducing Cueing for Stronger Communication
As parents, we often seek the best ways to support our child’s communication, meeting them where they are with patience. One powerful step is modeling correct speech at home—this lays a strong foundation for their skills. However, too much cueing can hold them back, making them rely on us rather than building independence. The aim is to guide them toward becoming their own speech therapists.
Excessive cueing can overwhelm a child, limiting their chance to think and act independently. By reducing prompts over time, you help them grow confident in their abilities.
Try these steps at home:
For Preschool-Age Children:
Model and Practice: Speak clearly, modeling /s/ sounds (e.g., “sun” or “snake”), and let them mimic you naturally.
Introduce Simple Cues: Offer playful prompts like “make your snake sound” or “trap your tongue behind your teeth” to start, using them sparingly.
Encourage Self-Try: Let them practice without constant cues, stepping in only to remind them of strategies like the snake sound.
Reduce Reminders Gradually: Begin with gentle reminders, then fade out, allowing them to lead with the cues.
School-Age Children:
Model and Practice: Use full sentences, like “I like to play outside,” and encourage them to repeat or add to it.
Introduce Simple Cues: Offer prompts like “tell me what you see” or “add more to your sentence” to guide them, using them sparingly.
Encourage Independence: Let them form sentences independently, stepping in only to remind them of strategies like adding details.
Reduce Reminders Gradually: Start with gentle reminders, then fade out, letting them create meaningful sentences on their own.
Things I Wish I Knew as a Parent (But Learned as an SLP) Series
Next up… Building Confidence: Supporting Kids Who Resist Communication Practice
As parents, we’re always looking for ways to nurture our children’s ability to express themselves, offering care as they grow. For some children, especially those with communication delays, a lack of confidence can make them resist repeating or practicing when asked. They might show big emotions like sadness, frustration, or irritation, or use avoidance behaviors such as turning away, staying silent, or changing the subject to avoid challenging tasks. This hesitation can hinder their growth.
Avoiding difficult things can lead to real-life consequences, like missing social connections, struggling in school, or feeling isolated as communication skills lag. Conversely, pushing through challenges strengthens the brain through neuroplasticity—neural connections grow with practice, boosting learning and adaptability. This builds resilience for future efforts. Our aim is to foster a holistic approach, empowering effective communication skills by supporting their whole development—emotionally, socially, and verbally.
Try these steps at home, tailored to your child’s age and using gentle techniques like parallel play (playing alongside and narrating without pressure), recasting (repeating their words correctly in a natural way), modeling (demonstrating clear speech), and auditory bombardment (repeatedly exposing them to target sounds or words to boost receptive skills):
For Younger Children:
•Model with Ease: Sit beside them in parallel play, modeling “The car goes fast” with auditory bombardment of sounds to nurture their verbal growth.
•Practice with Guidance: Start with an easy sound, using modeling and recasting “ball” to “The ball is fun” while saying “I feel happy because we’re playing” to encourage them holistically.
•Start Small: Pick one sound, reinforcing with modeling and auditory bombardment through songs to empower their skills.
•Reward Progress: Say, “Wow, I see how hard you were trying there!” or “You did it! How does that make you feel?”
For Older Children:
•Model with Ease: Engage in parallel play, modeling “I like to draw now” with auditory bombardment in conversation to support their overall development.
•Practice with Guidance: Work on a sentence, using modeling and recasting “dog” to “The dog runs” while saying “I feel proud because you shared” to guide them comprehensively.
•Start Small: Practice a sentence with modeling and auditory bombardment via repeated phrases to enhance their communication strength.
•Reward Progress: Say, “Big brain! Let’s do that again!” or “When we try at things that are difficult, we are helping our brain grow in different areas!”
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